New Mom Honesty

So I've determined there isn't near enough of it going around. "It" would be the information that is passed from one mom to a new mom in the time before and after their baby is born. At new moms group this past week this topic came up and became the major discussion point for the majority of our meeting. Are people really honest about what it's like to have a baby? Why are people only concerned with "sugar coating" new mommyhood and not giving an honest account of what it's really like? Why are we afraid as moms (and dads too) to be totally honest with one another? Sure, you may not want to spill all of your new mommy highs and lows to strangers, but do we do even our closest friends justice when we aren't honest with one another?

In short, no - we're not honest. I have many friends that are moms - AMAZING moms - but there are things I had no clue about when I had Claire. Sure, many of us probably keep those details to ourselves so that we don't "scare off" new moms. However, I think that if someone had REALLY told me how hard nursing would be at first or how difficult some days would be (sleep deprivation aside) or how isolating being a new mom can feel at times I would have been more mentally prepared. (And reassured that if they survived, I would too.) I was so motivated to nurse before I had Claire. Then I had Claire and the next three weeks were absolutely hellish. This was toe curling pain like I had never experienced - and it came about every hour for a lengthy amount of time. I would sob at the thought of having to nurse and couldn't imagine how people grew to enjoy it! Luckily, I hung in there (with the support of friends and family) and now we're quite successful and I'm a huge supporter of nursing moms. (If you need a nursing cheerleader - just call!) But NO ONE told me it would be that hard. I was shocked that I was so miserable and having such a hard time. (If it wasn't for Clay I might have lost my mind.) But I made it through - just like other moms before me - but having been prepared mentally would have been nice.

Of course it's not like I'm hoping moms everywhere will sit around all day and complain to one another about their kids - that's not my point. But if we were more honest with one another as mothers - I feel we'd create a much more supportive environment for not just new mommies, but all mommies. I've tried to be honest with my pregnant friends about how things may be tough. Not to scare them, but to prepare them and reassure them that someone out there has experienced this and survived.

I have been extremely blessed in how much support and how many resources I have had since having Claire. Liz (our midwife) thankfully sat us down and very bluntly told us before leaving the hospital that there would be days we would think to ourselves "what have we done?!" She was honest about how emotional this stage of adjustment would be which reassured me at times. However I was not prepared for just how difficult it could be at times. BABS has been a huge support and the new moms group there has been an amazing opportunity to me. (It's usually the highlight of my week.) Even with all of this support and the amazing friends and family we have - we still have rough days. (If you're one of those people reading this - our love and thankfullness for you could never be put into words.) I still have moments where I wonder when on Earth this will get better. (Newest challenge: Crying whenever we're around other people...dun dun duuuunnn.)

I guess my point is this - let's be honest with one another. We all love our babies unconditionally, but let's be honest, some days it's really difficult. Honesty and cheerleading are crucial to moms. And another thing - we need to stop judging one another so critically. (I'll post on that another day.) So, hug a mom friend. Encourage someone you know. Give honest advice when someone wants it. Be supportive and remind your fellow mammas that we've all been there and we can all survive if we give it a try. Join a moms group, start a moms group, call your mamma friends and check in. Encourage. Support. Love.

It's been awhile...

So of course it's been a long time since I've updated this blog. This will probably be pretty long as I try to update the last few months of our lives! I'm hoping to be able to remedy my "slacking" now that Claire is getting to a place where she can somewhat entertain herself for short periods of time. I can't believe I'm already saying that she's able to do that. I'm hoping that I can keep this updated enough so that family and friends (both far away and local) can keep up to date on Miss C when they don't get a chance to see her.

First off, the amount of support, kind words, and help with the transition into parenthood has been amazing. I always knew Clay and I had amazing friends and family, but you really don't have any idea until you have this type of life altering event.

As for Claire, she's doing great! After 23 hours of unmedicated back labor (Whoo! I did it!) she arrived on May 16th at 2:08am. She was a whopping 8 lbs 11 ounces and 20 inches long! I couldn't have been more thrilled with my birth team - Clay was a great support and Liz, Lindsey, Angela, and the labor nurses were excellent. If you're giving birth (whether natural or not) GET A DOULA. The support she provided allowed Clay to actually focus on me - which was a great help. I also could shout my praises of Liz McDaniel from the rooftops. Unlike many stories I hear about doctors coming into to "catch" the baby, Liz was at my side the ENTIRE time. She acted not only as midwife, but also as an additional labor coach. If we ever decide to have another baby, I will go where ever Liz is at the moment to have it. Seriously. She's that good.

At 7 weeks Claire is already around 11 and a half pounds and continuing to grow. We're getting lots of smiles and cues, as well as some serious attempts at trying to roll onto her side. (Which did end in her actually rolling onto her belly last night.) She seemed completely shocked at how she ended up there. The feeling was mutual to say the least.

We're also trying to settle in with the day-to-day of parenthood. I joined a New Moms group at BABS (Bloomington Area Birth Services) and couldn't be happier in doing so. BABS has been such a great resource and support for us during this transition and I'll be forever grateful. We're becoming more and more "hippie light" as things progress. Or as one blog called it, "old fashioned." I've finally adjusted to nursing and am happy to sing it's praises. (It's not easy - so I'm thrilled I've been able to do it and offer my support to anyone willing to try.) We're about to enter the land of cloth diapering - I'll post as we get into things.

Well, my typing time is over since Claire has decided she's no longer entertained by her playmat! Stay Tuned!

7 Week Stretch...

So we've hit the final stretch of the pregnancy. It's really hard to believe that in sevenish weeks, Clay and I will be parents. It took me a long time to get used to just being pregnant and now I'm really trying to wrap my mind around the whole "giving birth" idea, followed by the even more daunting "being a parent" thing. (Although my friends keep assuring me everything will be just fine and that we'll do a great job. I sure hope you're all right!)

I have been so lucky so far in this pregnancy that I just recently started getting uncomfortable. I still haven't quite figured out how to slow things down at school, which I think really has a lot to do with how I'm feeling. Aside from still feeling relatively great, I also have been a little overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support for us and Claire. I have always known what an amazing group of friends and family we have, but it's really setting in just how great they really are. So to those of you who read this, THANKS! We love you dearly!

In other Barnes news, I'm in the homestretch of my long term sub position and I've been trying to get the kids prepped for my departure. I know I'll be busy with Claire when the time comes, but I can't help but feel sad about having to leave them before the school year ends. Although a few of them have the ability to drive me crazy, they are such a great group of kids. I've been really lucky to not only find this sub spot, but to also have the opportunity to teach such a great group.

For our friends who have requested pictures of the nursery, belly, etc - I am working on finding our camera cord. We've taken some pictures (although not near enough I'm beginning to figure out from family/friend input) however I haven't been able to find the cord, therefore haven't been able to upload. I'll see what I can do - wish me luck!

So here is my quest, I'm really going to be trying to use this blog as a way to keep my friends and family not in Bloomington up to date on how things are going here, especially once Claire gets here. So, bear with me as I work out the kinks and get in the habit of keeping people updated. New Claire updates will be somewhat far between at first - but I hope to keep everyone in the loop as best as I can!

Wish us luck...May is fast approaching!

Claire's Nursery

So we haven't actually made much progress on the nursery, but I did receive word today that the wonderful woman making our bedding (I found her on Etsy) is finished with our project! I couldn't be more thrilled and it should arrive sometime next week. Now I really have to get motivated! She sent me this photo today of it displayed in a crib she has at home (she's also expecting and is due in April). The two pieces on the back are covers for the changing pad. She'll also be sending more polka dot fabric so that I can recover a hanging lamp for above the rocker. I can't wait to get started!

January Changes...

So the last few weeks have been very interesting, as well as exciting!

I recently was asked to take a long term sub position at Summit in a 6th grade classroom. I was thrilled that they thought of me to take the spot and have really been enjoying my time in the classroom. The kids are great and although they are more tiring than the younger ones, I've enjoyed being able to teach and have some really in depth conversations with students. I'll be their teacher until Claire makes her debut and I think that the kids are getting more comfortable knowing that they won't have to deal with a multitude of subs during the next few months of school. I'm also thrilled to get to teach Social Studies twice a day and I am working towards finding some "exciting" ways to cover the topics. (Cue my ET2T counterparts wondering if I'll be making a "web" ala Jesse Goodman.)

In baby news, I'm still feeling great, though a bit tired now that I'm teaching. I've really started to show this week and she's been moving and grooving a lot more. Clay was able to feel her kick a few times so I think it's becoming a lot more real for the both of us. Our bedding is almost complete (Etsy is a lifesaver!) and we're hoping to start on the nursery next weekend. (After the Praxis is out of the way...) We've got 4 months to go and a "To-Do" list a mile long. But we do start birth classes tonight and we made arrangements with a doula for the birth. Whew! I can't believe we're almost 6 months through this!

Aside from baby and teaching - I've recently been inspired with cooking again. It could be the No Reservations marathon I watched over the weekend (Thank you Netflix streaming!) and it could be the anticipation of not having the time to do these types of experiments once Claire gets here. Either way, I've done three new creations this week (two my own, one Pioneer Woman) and so far so good. It feels great to cook something different and to be inspired beyond my usual dinner fare. I've also found a new interest in baking! I lend part of that to Sarah for bringing these amazing macaroons for NYE dinner. They were quite addictive and amazingly delicious. (Thanks Sarah!)

As soon as I can find our camera cord I'll be posting some progress pics of Claire's room, as well as of the recent cooking explorations!

Hope everyone in our area is enjoying the snow - it's hopefully on it's way out!